Understand

I am an "in depth" kind of person. I want to have deep conversations. I want to sit down and have some one explain something complex to me. I want to understand concepts. I want to understand.
But, I have this love-hate relationship with understanding. I realized this yesterday when someone close to me took time to explain something that was wrong that I had participated in. This confrontation was backed up by scripture...It was a legitimate, and I understood. It hurt, though. And in that moment, I wished that I didn't have any depth or understanding. I thought "Gosh, life would be so much simpler without convictions and an understanding of what this life is for." But I do understand what this life is for...Glory to the Giver of life. This insight was not meant to condemn me...it was meant to set me straight and to help me understand the seriousness of sin and bondage. I am grateful to this person for coming to me. It was mature and Christ like. It still hurt, though.
Things you like and want are not easy to give up. But, when I think of eternal treasures, fleshly pleasure seems so minuscule and bland.
"Fight the good fight" are the words that were repeated several times to me. Fight hard against temptation. Pray hard when your knees are weak in the presence of an old struggle. He will break you free from any and all bondage. He is life and joy. I don't need anything but Him. I understand that. and there is nothing deeper than His love, His sovereignty, and His sacrifice.

18

18 years old. That's not crazy at all. I am so thankful I've gotten this far...And Lord knows it's only by His grace. I had a wonderful party with people who are true friends and beautiful people to the core. I had a bonfire on a very cold night...and everyone ended up piling inside on the couches and floor. It was strange looking out at all of my friends...Some of them I've known for years, and others for only a few months. So thankful that they all were brought into my life at perfect times. 

I know 18 is going to be challenging. It's already presented challenges with me and my parents. I was independent before I became an adult, and that trait is appearing more so now. It's going to be an adjustment. 

I know that 18 holds a lot of adventures for me, though. and I've waited for this year ever since I can remember. It's here, finally, and I want to cease every moment, and live to the fullest. 

 

Rumpelstiltskin

I don't know how many of you are Once Upon a Time Fans...But I am definitely "hooked" on it (Pun intended). Once Upon a Time is one of those shows where you constantly change how you feel about each character. You go to their past...swing back to their present. See their mistakes...see their growth. There is so much character development, and I really appreciate the show for that.
There is one character that has been the source of a lot of the evil that has happened in both storybrooke and the enchanted forest. Even his title indicates that you should steer clear of him. "The dark one"...or more specifically "Rumpelstiltskin", teacher of the dark magic. Again and again we see how consumed he is with his anger and revenge, and how dependent he is on his magic. As we travel back to his past, we see a small, poor, man who is filled with fear. A wimp who couldn't fight the man who was kidnapping his wife, and who abandoned his son, Neal, so he could keep his power. We develop a strong distaste for this guy early on (and his algae colored skin doesn't help him much). The more I watch this crazy, intriguing show, though, the more I can relate to Rumpelstiltskin. Although, at first it seems that he is evil to the core, we eventually see Belle come into Rumpelstiltskin's life and bring the good out in him. Love touched him, and he had a longing to be a good person...and to do what was right. Occasionally, he would slip back into the darkness and give into his hate. But Belle, and eventually his long lost son, would help him come back into the light.
I can relate to Rumpel. I have this "old self" that has darkness and sin. I also have my "new self" that has been touched by the love of Jesus. Jesus is the only good in me, and the only one who can bring out that good. Just like Belle is the only one who can bring out the good in Rumpel. Even when I give into my evil, I am able to fall back and receive forgiveness for my mistakes. And we see Belle, time after time, forgive her Rumpelstiltskin.  Not comparing Belle to Jesus. But I do think it's a beautiful glimpse of what our relationship with Jesus looks like. And I definitely think that Belle is a gracious person that is to be admired. One of my favorite parts in the entire show so far was when Rumpelstiltskin realized that the love he had for Belle and Neal were more precious to him than his life. And, on that episode, he became a true hero as he was willing to sacrifice himself for the town of Storybrooke. And this character is just one example of all the touching stories told in this show. I definitely fell in love with this beautiful enchanted world.  

Orange is for October

Orange is for October. Their evening skies provide.
What a redeeming couple of days. I have felt so very close to my savior. I've been dealing with so much rebellion and having so many fleshly struggles...and I finally gave it up to God, and felt so cleansed.
I've been encourage in my scripture reading, and in some of the close relationships I have.
Also, a verse from a song that has constantly been playing in my mind today...

"Make me empty, so I can be filled. 'cause I'm still holding onto my will. And I'm completed when you are with me. Make me empty."

Orange is for October

Orange is for October. Pumpkins provide.
 Had my first pumpkin carving experience last night. Glad I got to share it with my guy. It was challenging, but it turned out so well. Ryan and I officially decided that this would be a tradition of ours, and that we would come up with crazier and harder things to carve each year. This was a great first year, though, and it was lots of fun. Now I'm suddenly craving all things pumpkin flavored. Seasonal goodness, get in my stomach.

Orange is for October

Orange is for October. Marigolds provide.
It's finally feeling like fall. *WootWoot!* Marigolds are blooming beautifully--along will all kinds of other gorgeous fall flowers. This is definitely my favorite time of year, and I am stoked about having bonfires, carving pumpkins, and soaking up the wonderful {breezy}weather.

Kiana

I absolutely love babysitting this sassy girl. She reminds me so much of myself at that age...wanting to be the center of attention, and saying whatever comes to mind. I caught this priceless face on camera while she was eating {and entire carton} of raspberries. Goodness, she's a handful!