Understand

I am an "in depth" kind of person. I want to have deep conversations. I want to sit down and have some one explain something complex to me. I want to understand concepts. I want to understand.
But, I have this love-hate relationship with understanding. I realized this yesterday when someone close to me took time to explain something that was wrong that I had participated in. This confrontation was backed up by scripture...It was a legitimate, and I understood. It hurt, though. And in that moment, I wished that I didn't have any depth or understanding. I thought "Gosh, life would be so much simpler without convictions and an understanding of what this life is for." But I do understand what this life is for...Glory to the Giver of life. This insight was not meant to condemn me...it was meant to set me straight and to help me understand the seriousness of sin and bondage. I am grateful to this person for coming to me. It was mature and Christ like. It still hurt, though.
Things you like and want are not easy to give up. But, when I think of eternal treasures, fleshly pleasure seems so minuscule and bland.
"Fight the good fight" are the words that were repeated several times to me. Fight hard against temptation. Pray hard when your knees are weak in the presence of an old struggle. He will break you free from any and all bondage. He is life and joy. I don't need anything but Him. I understand that. and there is nothing deeper than His love, His sovereignty, and His sacrifice.

18

18 years old. That's not crazy at all. I am so thankful I've gotten this far...And Lord knows it's only by His grace. I had a wonderful party with people who are true friends and beautiful people to the core. I had a bonfire on a very cold night...and everyone ended up piling inside on the couches and floor. It was strange looking out at all of my friends...Some of them I've known for years, and others for only a few months. So thankful that they all were brought into my life at perfect times. 

I know 18 is going to be challenging. It's already presented challenges with me and my parents. I was independent before I became an adult, and that trait is appearing more so now. It's going to be an adjustment. 

I know that 18 holds a lot of adventures for me, though. and I've waited for this year ever since I can remember. It's here, finally, and I want to cease every moment, and live to the fullest.